Comming Home Day 7 Albion and the Spitting Lesbian

Eric and I woke up and went to Uncle Patrick's. I was feeling some stress from spending so much time with Eric cause he had started a Champaign of not listening to me. I wanted to do some stuff with him like going sledding and other things but the weather had not been cooperating. This forced us to drive around allot and not really have as much fun as he would want. Eventually at Uncle Patrick's house we played some more Play-station 2 and Eric was in a better mood. I took him home to my parents home and to my relief grandpa & Grandma offered to watch him while I went out with one of my old friends. Don is a guy who use to be one of my coaches in High-school. He has always been a good guy to hang out with and lots of fun to talk to. He told me that Sam a guy who I had only met once was coming into town and flying into Buffalo Airport. We drove down to Buffalo and talked about life in Japan our families and life in general. When we got to Buffalo and picked up Sam we instantly remembered each other cause 10 years ago we had picked up a couple of not so hot women together. We talked on in the car about what to do and ended up at a small bar in Batavia. We played a never ending game of Darts ate some designer Buffalo Wings and had a couple beers. I hadn't been out since I been home and I forgot how cheap it was. Total Bill $36.00 Items 6 bottled beers 2 orders of wings. WOW that would have cost me $70.00 in Tokyo. Next we headed down Route 98. There were a few bars along the way and it was tough for me to imagine moving back to New York especially anywhere in the country. After stopping at the Stublin Inn which had on display a 4 foot Christmas Tree made of cabbage. Yes cabbage. Next was some wiggling willy place that looked promising from the blond standing outside smoking but turned out to be a huge disappointment, cause her and a woman who looked like Kirsty Alley without the benefit of weight watchers, cosmetic surgery, and a army of hair and makeup artists were the only women in the joint. It was getting late and we were driving down 98 in the village of Albion. We saw some Sheas. It was right in the village and we stopped cause of all of the activity outside and inside. After stepping through the door and into the twilight zone. It was immediately apparent that some thing wasn't right. Smoke hung think in the air. There is a no smoking law in bars and restraints in ALL of NEW YORK STATE! There were several young looking people. I could hear the sound of a Guns and Roses but I quickly realized it was not Axle singing it was round extremely round kid with red hair and more zits than I ever had in my life. I looked around and felt as though I was the only black guy in the place..... wait I am white and there was a black couple sitting next to me and they did not seemed bothered by anything. I felt weird REALLY weird but tried not to show it. My compradres seemed to enjoy the show/atmosphere so I decided to try to relax. It was hard I know I looked out of place and every one was staring at us. I ordered a round for us and proceeded to scope out the bar. The man to woman ratio was about 2 to 10. The males were a scary bunch ranging from a scrubby and unkempt to fashionable and feminine. I could not get over the eclectic mix of males. But no matter what they all looked like LOCALS. The women were well not hot I noticed a blond who was probably a looker when her hair style was still in fashion and a woman who had a relatively attractive style if she wasn't taller than me and didn't out weight me by a pound or 30. Then I saw her. It was hard to tell at first. When she grabbed the mic to sing the next song I thought she was a man but when she turned sideways I noticed the unmistakable slope of breasts under her sweat top. Her hair was cropped short and she wore an earring in only one ear. She started to sing Girls Girls Girls by Motley Crüe and I knew everything I needed to know after that. Eventually the woman who was slightly attractive made her way over to a couple near by. I could see her checking us out. She left and then almost magically my girl Lindsey appeared. Up close it was obvious she was a woman and with some fixing up, like a course, make over and hair she COULD possibly have been attractive. After all she did have pretty eyes. She told us a little about her self the fact that her grandfather owned the bar and that she knew the other girl who had been checking us out. She said the other girls name was Emily. Before long Lindsey left and Emily came over. Emily informed us she was the Mayors Daughter or Granddaughter and she was part of the welcoming committee she shook our hands and then proceeded to demand that I some how prove I lived in Japan (a previous topic of conversation with Lindsey). I showed her my Gaijin Torlokosho (Alien Card) and answered her simple questions. She welcomed me to Albion by squeezing my breast...........when in Rome.........I figured this was a customary greeting in Albion so I reciprocated. She grabbed my other breast and I did the same. She seemed amused by my ability to catch on quick and I did enjoy the feel of her MAMOTH BREAST so we continued to talk. My friends were no help egging me on the whole time to do something more drastic. I JUST GRABBED A STRANGE WOMANS BOOB IN PUBLIC! How much more drastic could they want! Eventually Lindsey reappeared with a small completely round kid who she introduced as her brother. They shared no other family similarities except weight but I didn't really care. I went to take a piss and when I returned we ordered our last round. I drank mine down pretty quick and decided to take another piss before we left. On the way back I saw Emily again and said hi we chatted for a bit when I told her I was leaving. I walked back down to my friends were and we left. We walked out and across the street and as we were getting in the car Lindsey walked outside and screamed "JAPAN SUCKS". I thought she was kidding cause most of our previous exchange had been friendly so I thought she was just bustin my chops. I hoped out of the van and walked over. "What's up with Japan Sucks?" I asked in joking tone. "Everyone I ever met from there was a asshole." She replied. "You only met me." I said not getting the dig. Her eyes changed and head lowered and she growled at me " Since the moment you came in the door you thought you were the baddest thing on 2 legs." She paused and twisted her face into a mean little scowl. "I should just kick your ass." I started to laugh a little. I am 6 foot 190 lbs. I may not be in the best shape of my life but, unless there was a baseball bat hidden behind her back she wasn't kickin' anyones ass. "Really" I replied chuckling some more. "I don't fight girls no matter how much they want it." "Well you better get ready." she said taking a half step forward. I noticed the empty bottle of beer in her friends hand, a skinny scrubby kid with tattoos covering both forearms was now being held upside down. I started to think this was my Cue to leave. I looked over at Lindsey. "Getting your ass whooped by a man isn't gonna make you a man." She swished something around in her mouth and I took a step back. POOF She spit at me! I dodged the major lugie but some spittle hit me. "Well tough guy you gonna kick my ass now." I laughed good and loud as my friends pulled up and picked me up. "Did you see that!" I yelled out laughing and walking towards the van "the stupid lesbian spit on me!" We all had a good laugh and I hoped in. I we figured that was enough excitement for one night and we head back to my friends house. There I had a Snapple and some chips rested for a bit and headed back home and went to sleep. What a night!